Prioritizing Great Sex
The statistics on sex in the modern world are woefully depressing: 15-20% of relationships have become sexless; upwards of 25% of people over just 50 have ceased having sex altogether; and even young people are having less sex than ever before according to a number of studies undertaken by sexologists.
We know too that this relative sexlessness correlates with rapidly decreasing sperm counts and testosterone levels, and an increased incidence of ED among men; rampant hormonal imbalances and fertility challenges among women; and an increase in chronic stress, diabetes, obesity, heightened cortisol, the list goes on...
We also know though that good, regular, connected and meaningful sex is a fantastic predictor of satisfaction in relationships, and in life - with those having consistent sex reporting that they’re happier, less stressed, and generally healthier. And it’s cyclical, because through sex we also (generally) improve heart health, weight maintenance, and lower systemic inflammation.
The focus at Sexpot is on how to return to our sexual selves if we’re feeling disconnected, and how to maintain that connection as we age (no, great sex doesn’t stop in our 40’s or 50’s) and we can’t do that effectively without thinking about sexual health holistically. I’ve said it countless times: libido and sexual desire signify robust health, and their absence suggests something is amiss. So be it hormonal, circulatory or psychological, there are real underlying causes when there’s disconnection from sexuality.
It’s also a realm of our health where western medicine doesn’t have much to offer - and your physician likely won’t do more than recommend improved diet and regular exercise with hope the residual impact might be improved sexual energy. And all the while herbal medicine has millenia of remarkable expertise here. It’s a wonder in fact that herbs for sex are not more widely known, understood and utilized, as they ignite arousal and sexual vigor - flooding reproductive organs with blood flow, moving stagnant energy and emotion, and balancing the hormones.
So how can we prioritize great sex? Well here’s a short list, let’s keep it simple:
1) Make the time. Slow down. Many people who aren’t having sex regularly claim they don’t have time, or they’re too exhausted when the time comes. Schedule time for sex if you need to.
2) Decide you’re not going to be a statistic. We’re overwhelmed with oversimplifications about what marriage, aging, and intimacy looks like and so much of it is negative. So this might sound facile but it really comes down to choice - and if we recognize sex and pleasure as fundamental parts of life, we learn to focus on them.
3) Think in terms of overall wellness. Minimize toxic exposures, get moving, and lean into tools to support your body’s return to sexuality - the herbs are a great way to reawaken your sexual self, and you can work with a formula specifically for libido or nourish hormone balance more deeply, long-term.
4) Make a move toward your lover. Let them know sex and pleasure is important to you, and that their pleasure is important to you. Talk about sex, share that you want to connect more frequently or more deeply and talk about ways to make that part of your reality together.
We hear so much noise about how sex lives change after marriage, or after babies, or after 40, or after menopause, or after 50… and the connotation there is rarely positive. But in reality, apart from the fear-mongering, we find instead that countless people are having phenomenal sex, often reportedly the best sex of their lives, well into their 60’s and beyond, and it’s not just luck - these people make it happen through choices, habits and prioritization.
If we decide that great sex is important to us, and give it our attention we can avoid being one of the statistics above. Your relationships, your health and your sense of joy will thank you.
